One day among the gods of Olymp
by Egniris-Egnirys
Summary: Just what the title says - we and Malik and marik go and rule the world! read what fun we can have! Shonen-ai and shojo-ai, and some gods-bashing! Review, and most importantly, read - it's worth it!


_Egnirys: This story was written for school. I got an A from this, but now after my sucky translation it may be less funny and nice... sniff._

_Egniris: It's our day with those sick naked bastards... read and review, as always. _

_Egnirys: Also, remember, it's shonen-ai and shojo-ai, don't like, don't read! Also some Greek-gods-bashing, but it was needed... don't kill us! _

_Both: Yu-Gi-Oh! doesn't belong to us! We belong there!  
_

* * *

One day among the Olympic Gods (or: How to gain controle over the world with no effort put in psychopathic point of view)

Egniris Eruna rubbed her sleepy eyes in shock. She had no idea as of what happened with her, but not only WASN'T she in a temple of a goddess named somehow like Athena on the hill of Acropolis in Greece (anyway, it was her older brother, Bakura, that dragged her there in hope that she'd help him in the "art of thief"), but also her small, tiny little hikari stood next to her with a stupid expression on her face instead of sitting somewhere in her soulroom like a good girl. So, not just that the both of them were there at the same time, but they had no idea where that "there" was... Inscriptions on a great golden gate with lots of ornaments might have been a clue if one knew Greek... which they apparently didn't.

'Hey, Looney... Maybe we, you know, died or something...?' Egniris asked, nervously smoothing her wild hair a bit (which, of course, was in vain, because it didn't intend on being flat); the hikari looked at her with the Psychopathic Murderer's Gaze (TM). 'What?! Maybe the Ra-damned Pharaoh finally got it right!..'

'Why are you so stupid...?' Egnirys Eluna sighed, shaking her head. 'Does it seem like the Shadow Realm to you? Or the Osiris' kingdom?' Egniris blinked rapidly and shook her head as a "no", grinning stupidly while doing this. 'Ra, why me...?' Egnirys sighed again.

'Hey, maybe instead of calling Ra's name for whatever reason, you'd remember where you'd taken me!' the yami murmured; Egnirys pretended she didn't hear the insult. With a surprise she noticed a bell on one of the columns of the gate. But it wasn't a bell that you could tie to cow's neck, oh no; it was a normal, modern doorbell!

'Eh, yami, maybe the Pharaoh sent us to another realm? You know that he always gets everything wrong, what with his loss of memory and all that... maybe instead of the Shadow Realm, he'd sent us... somewhere...'

'Ai, you're great, miss dectetive!' Egniris stated.

'Detective, ignorant fool,' Egnirys corrected; with a strange melancholy she took one of her yami's bracelets with an "I" letter engraved on it. 'It's the one Malik gave us, isn't it? Such a pity...' the girl sighed, '... he's not with us anymore. And I don't think we'll see him anytime soon.' She put the piece of jewelery on; Egniris came closer to the gate and pushed the doorbell, mumbling something under her breath:

'I just hope Bakura comes out of there and offers us some lemonade...'

'Yea, lemonade... I just happen to know what you and the tomb robber call a "lemonade"...!'

Suddenly, the golden gate opened and a tall, half-naked man with fair locks and atletic built emerged. Egniris' eyes widened at the sight; she covered her "innocent" hikari's eyes and turned her gaze away from what her morality said shouldn't be shown.

'Oh, mortals!' the man said, smiling brightly, having no idea that he just offended one of the guests.

'Stop insulting me, nude!' Egniris snapped and "hmph"-ed. Oh no, she wasn't a pathethic mortal! She didn't spend three thousand years in her Golden Feather of Horus just to be humbled like that now!

'Don't listen to her,' Egnirys advised, trying to get away from her overprotective yami and giving the dumbfounded guy her brightest smile. 'My name is Egnirys, I'm from Egypt and I wonder where I am right now.'

'Nice to meet you, Egnirys. My name is Apollo, and this is Olymp, the home for the immortal Gods,' the man answered, and that made Egniris instantly interested in what he had to say.

'Ne, Looney, I've got a plan!' She mumbled into her hikari's ear, but was ignored when Egnirys said to Apollo:

'This old hag with me is an immortal spirit from Ancient Egypt that somehow ended up as a darker side of me...' and that was when Apollo's words sunk in. '...Wait, wait, wait! What "immortal Gods" do you mean? Ra, Horus, Isis, Sobek, Hathor...?'

'Looney, does he look like Anubis or another Seth to you?' Egniris asked sarcastically and Egnirys shrugged. 'Exactly my point. Whatever. Tell me better, you Apollo or whoever you are, how to go back from here?'

'But maybe you would like to be our guests first? We're having a party now, we'd love to host you...' the man offered, totally unfazed by the complete lack of respect from the girls. They agreed and Apollo took them to the kingdom of Olympic Gods.

The first thing that came to Egnirys' mind was "crowd". She didn't expect anything else, it was a party indeed, but... why were there so many of them? This moment of confusion was instantly used by Egniris, who whispered to her hikari's ear: 'Listen, Looney... Maybe we'd take over the world from here? If they are gods, here should be some kind of Eden, so if we take over, we'll be almighty! Maybe we'd manage to get Malik and Marik from the Shadow Realm, we'll have bakura here and we'll defeat the Pharaoh at last!'

'I planned that too, old hag!' Egnirys whispered back. In the meantime, Apollo showed the girls to Zeus, the king of gods, who smiled good-naturedly at them. In fact, every normal god/man would guess their evil plans just by looking at them, but well... Zeus didn't care about anything but their looks, as a woman-lover he was. Indeed, the Egyptians were quite pretty if you had a good mood, only those creepy eyes, red for Egnirys and violet for Egniris... yeah, they were _a bit_ scary...

'Welcome to my kingdom, mortals,' the king of thunders said, and the tiny hikari jumped back with a scream and fell to the floor when her yami yelled an insult in Ancient Egyptian and the Golden Feather of Horus started shining around her neck. Before anybody could react, an entrance to the Shadow Realm opened above Zeus and the god was banished there in an instant. It closed and Egniris "hmph"-ed before shouting for everybody to hear her:

'Okay, you pathethic excuses for gods! From now on we're ruling here, and whoever tries to rebel against us will end up in the Shadow Realm!' and she helped her hikari to stand up, visibly proud of herself. Egnirys sighed and hugged her short-tempered yami, noting to herself to always run if anybody calls Egniris a mortal again. However, she was really proud of her; didn't she just take over the world and the kingdom of the gods in a few minutes? The tomb robber couldn't do that! Now getting rid of that arrogant Pharaoh was going to be a piece of cake! But it was a bit strange that those gods weren't trying to do anything...

'Looney, would you take care of this mess for me please? I'll try to find our Ishtar's,' the darker of them asked quietly and she softly scratched Egnirys behind her ear.

'Okay, but I'll get a new bracelet. And an album of Dir en Grey. And Pierrot. And...' the girl blushed, '... and a kiss.'

'No problem, aibou, but later' – and Egniris concentrated on her task: to get Malik and Marik back, while her hikari went sightseeing.

* * *

Most of the gods were good – they let her through without protest when she was going among them, curiously looking around. In fact, she was disappointed by the kingdom's monotony and it's similarity to the Greece on Earth. Nonsense, the girl thought. Those Greek gods must have been very boring... But we'll make them a bit better I guess!

Suddenly, somebody attacked the unsuspecting girl; it was Apollo, who felt guilty for bringing traitors to Olypm. Before he managed to hurt her, though, something strange happened. Heracles, the son of Zeus, ran there and threw the young god away from Egnirys, helping the girl stand. The tiny hikari didn't even look at her saviour, but she did look at two people next to her yami. They were Malik and Marik, the first of them with his Millennium Rod, controlling Heracles' mind! Egnirys was there in an instant, hugging both of them tightly, laughing and crying all at once.

'Marik, Malik, you Ra-damned creatures, where have you been so long...?! I missed you!'

'Malik, you can let go of that stupid pack of muscles, you're losing energy,' Egniris exclaimed, but Malik laughed a bit insanely.

'I'm not losing energy, Eruna. I have a great time,' he said; Marik, his yami, sighed dramatically.

'Pretty hikari always has to cause chaos,' he said to nobody in particular and then said to Egnirys: 'We were in the Shadow Realm, you know? The Pharaoh banished us...'

'Ha!' the girl shouted triumphally, not neccessarily meaning to answer Marik, because she just noticed a box with thunders that belonged to Zeus. 'Now we'll get our revenge on that shared enemy we have! And I'll be the next Pharaoh!' - and that's when some strange sounds came, which were meant to be laughter, but seemed more like choking.

'And they call me a psychopath...' Marik mumbled; Egniris sat on Zeus' golden throne and let her yami throw some thunders to Earth. Malik had Ares start a war among the mortals and sent Athena, Arthemis and some others there to fight against men with great satisfaction. He ordered Hera to cook something delicious, and Hermes and Aphrodite – to give them whatever they wished. Marik happily terrorised the nymphs which would usually serve the goddess of love (nobody didn't really WANT to know HOW did they SERVE her); once a while he would steal a jealous glance towards his pretty hikari to check if anyone wouldn't dare to come closer to him...

At last, Egnirys became bored with throwing thunders to Earth, particularly because she couldn't see the Pharaoh from this height and she kept missing him... Moreover, you can't forget that the Pharaoh is just as immortal as Egniris or Marik... you can only get rid of him by banishing him to the Shadow Realm, and the tiny hikari was too weak to manage it. Anyway, bored, she climbed her yami's laps and started grumbling. And you have to know that a grumbling Egnirys is a bad Egnirys and it's hard to stand her. To silence her, Egniris gave her a kiss on the lips. Then the hikari let herself be hugged and simply fell asleep. Unfortunately, that wasn't the ned of trouble. Malik didn't have enough of the chaos he's already caused and he wanted to become the president of USA in addition to ruling the world. Marik of course didn't agree – he didn't like the idea of going back to Earth, and that would be required as a first step. Here, on Olymp, he had everything – ambrosia to eat, highly alcoholic wine to drink, his hikari to admire, those uncontrolled by Malik to terrorise... shortly, everything to make it heaven. And the observations of the Earthian psychosis were fun, but he had no intention of finding himself in the middle of it.

'But, but I want to!' shouted the (supposedly) saner of the Egyptians; Egniris glared daggers at him when Egnirys mumbled something in her sleep, but fortunately didn't wake up. Marik rolled his eyes, hit Malik's empty little head and sat him on his lap.

'Listen, pretty hikari. You rule the world and the stupid gods' minds. What do you need the USA for? Anyway, you're not even thirty-five, you cannot be a candidate. And who the hell would vote for you? You're a psychopath, like me, not a politician,' he explained.

'Well... okay...' Malik sighed; he let his clever yami hug him. He closed his pretty eyes and not much time passed before he fell asleep. Marik took controle of the gods' minds and took a great gulp from the bottle of wine...

* * *

Egniris Eruna, the former princess of Egypt, the Pharaoh's step sister and the Great Thief Bakura's born sister, presently a dark ancient spirit who gained her own body by accident, woke up with tied hands. She murmured something about brother's stupid jokes and opened her eyes. Well... she wasn't at home. She was lying in a cage with thick bars, and the others were sitting next to her – Malik, Marik and Egnirys. Around the cage stood the Greek gods, with Apollo as the leader.

'And who's better now?' the young god asked with self-admiration and Egniris swore in Ancient Egyptian; even though the "intelligent" rulers of Olymp didn't take away her Golden Quill of Horus, she couldn't use it anyway, because she'd need her hands. She glared at Apollo and he said mockingly: 'You're lucky we fixed most of what you damaged on Earth. Any other way, you'd be dead till now. But who's gonna help you now?' - and he received the answer he didn't expect:

'Maybe us?' – because apparently there stood, arm in arm next to Zeus' throne, Great Thief Bakura (called also the damn tomb robber, not only by his sister's hikari) and... Pharaoh Atem of all people!

'Time to go back home, ladies, don't you think?' Bakura smiled mockingly. 'We have to rob some shops on our way!'

'I'll pretend I didn't hear THAT...' the Pharaoh mumbled; Egniris looked at the two as if she'd seen them for the first time. Didn't the two hate each other for nobody remembers how long...? What's that supposed to be, a reunion after centuries?! Marik seemed to think the same, because he asked:

'Oi, Bakura, don't you think something's wrong on this picture?'

'Oh, Marik! And Malik!' the surprised thief exclaimed, completely ignoring the blonde's question. 'What are YOU doing here? I thought the Pharaoh got rid of YOU!'

'Yeah, but Eruna got us back from the Shadow Realm. But maybe you'd set us free now?' Malik offered with a nice smile and a look that said "but may that be fast or I'll castrate you with a teaspoon and feed you with what I cut!" But that's when the gods remembered they were there; Apollo and his sister Artemis came one step closer.

'None of you is going to leave here before you give us back our father, Zeus!' Apollo said firmly; Atem raised an eyebrow and Bakura chuckled.

'Purlease... what are you gonna do to us if we DON'T give him back?' he asked with mockery so evident in his voice. 'Compared to us, you're pathethic! We should be the ones worshipped by those weak mortals!'

'Bakura, shut up...' the Pharaoh begged. He came closer to the cage with four psychopaths closed in it and opened it, using his ancient Shadow Magic. Malik, Egniris, Marik and Egnirys came out of their prison; the first three of them started hugging Bakura happily, choking the poor tomb robber to death (fortunately, he was already dead) but Egnirys just "hmph"-ed. To say that she disliked the thief would be a big understatement. So she decided, as a protest, to annoy the Pharaoh.

'So, how's you're favourite Priest?' she asked, not even pretending to have any repect for the former ruler.

'Seto? Very good. He still doesn't believe he's my High Priest from the ancient times, he still earns millions a minute, his ego is still the size of China and I still love him,' Atem stated calmly. 'Hey, you! Psychos! If you'd finished molesting the damn tomb robber, we shall go home!' upon hearing this, Bakura escaped from his friends' embraces and yelled:

'Don't call me that! I'm the thief king!'

'Yeah, whatever,' the Pharaoh murmured. 'We're going back, because it's too boring without you down there.' Egniris looked around, saw the gods' stupid expressions and laughed o that everybody besides her hikari shivered. Then she took Egnirys' hand, waved her own one to Apollo and the others and headed away from the godly kingdom, and Malik, Marik, Bakura and Atem soon followed, leaving behind the Greek paradise and all controle over the world. When they reached the temple where it all started from, Marik stated:

'Maybe we should have given them back their king, that Zealous or something...'

'Zeus, stupid,' Malik corrected. 'And if he's such a powerful god, he'll manage to break out by himself, you know?'

'You're right, pretty hikari,' Marik agreed. ' Hey, Eluna, what's that you got behinf your back?' he asked Egnirys. The tiny hikari shyly showed everybody a... thunder she snatched from Olymp. Well, maybe she hated Bakura, but she surely learned a lot from him when it came to thief art... none of the gods noticed anything!

'I took it as a souvenir...' she explained quietly, seeing the anger on her yami's face. Egniris sighed somehow... powerlessly?... and gave her a peek on the cheek.

'I cannot be angry at you, Looney...' she said honestly. 'Isn't it great we don't share bodies anymore? Whatever did it, I'm grateul... And you, Ishtar?' - but Marik and Malik didn't answer, too occuppied with themselves to be interested in anything around them at all. Egniris turned her gaze away from them and covered her hikari's eyes once again that day, protecting her "innocence". 'Eh... well. It was nice. What a pity we ruled the world for such a short time...'

'But at least we know our efforts aren't hopeless and taking over is possible! What reminds me...' Bakura seemed deep in thought and the Pharaoh looked up to the sky, obviously calling Ra to save him. '...Atem, why DIDN'T you send ME to the Olymp? I WANT to rule the world TOO!'

Suddenly the Pharaoh started sweating; he gulped while slowly backing away from the thief to prevent the psycho in him from awaking... too late. Bakura jumped on him and as a revenge for everything that went bad in this world, he started tickling him. And that's how how the day of four psychopaths, a thief and a pharaoh among the gods of Olymp ended.

* * *

The End

Atem: Excuse me?! What do you mean, the end?! Don't leave me here, with these deviants and psychos! Help me!!! I wanna to my Seto!!!


End file.
